a long-winded academic preamble

to a potentially SCANDALOUS upcoming investigation...
of indeterminate length and quality...

as a graduate of a well-funded public school system and a four-year bachelors program at a private university, i have been incredibly privileged to receive a well-rounded and (i believe) quality education.

it is for the reason of my educational conditioning – to be a "good" student, to push and challenge myself, to faithfully complete a ridiculous amount of homework in any given evening – that i believe i am eternally a sucker for a good project. call me twisted but. i do love them.

the more creative and personal a project is, the less likely i am to (quote) hate my life (unquote) whilst working on it, and the sooner i am to wish i would do something similar again in the very near future. the more time and psychic energy a project requires, and the more i care about it, the more i will romanticize it once i've had enough of an opportunity to heal from the insanity it occasionally was. see: the wheeling community cookbook project >:-)

i suspect that my inclination towards so-called projects is a product of my educational upbringing. like a sinusoidal curve, i experience peak cravings for projects at consistent intervals, in a manner directly proportional to the quotient of my opposite and hypotenuse sides. 

i am actively in a period of such craving, which is to say, i feel somewhat bored??? or perhaps not quite sufficiently stimulated by my current job and happenings. though i do feel i am learning much, it is mostly passive work in which someone else tells me what to do, and there is not much space for creative thinking or invention. i could also choose to look at my situation like this: i have a fair amount of extra energy which is leaving me desiring of some kind of prolonged creative venture. 

for better or worse, i wish to undertake a new project. 

i know; this is a rather brazen thing to say. i do not utter these words lightly, for i know their power. i have thought about this for some time now. and i believe myself to be ready. even excited.

certainly, my recent life has been lush with creative inspiration thanks to (a) the blogosphere, and (b) the wheeling cacophony orchestra newsletter (a project of the wheeling salon initiative). i am very happy to be an actor within these vibrant, co-created digital spaces, because they not only allow me to feel connected to my dear friends but they also simultaneously resurrect aspects of the internet that i am nostalgic for (email, online pen pals, the golden age of blogs, rookie mag).

and yet, perhaps because these projects have been so very energizing, i have continued to observe within myself the very pertinent need to BE BUSY and MAKE THINGS. i swear i am motivated by creative energy and perhaps my aforementioned projects vice, not capitalistic aspirations.

so, what might this new project be? 

this was the question i first asked myself.

here were the criteria: developing a new dimension of skill or craft or dexterity or knowledge; not purely focused on myself but also pertinent to others; something artistic and reflective of the present personal moment in which i find myself; a work which may have political implications, this is to say most generously, a work which participates (in something); taking place in a new or under-explored medium.

many ideas could fit this bill, and indeed there are several at present which have piqued my interests. but there is one idea in particular that i wish to focus on for the remainder of this post. 

this idea is inspired by a fascinating recent interaction i had at the gas station in town. i entered the shop to pay for my gasoline, and the decidedly attractive fellow behind the counter WINKED at me. following the wink, he asked me if i went to school in the area. we then had a brief farmerly conversation, including a moment where he told me, "if you need hay, i'm the guy." i proceeded to ask if the hay he grows has any bad weed seeds in it. i suspect this is a silly question to ask a commercial hay farmer. i was, in a word, flummoxed by the whole debacle.

this surprising experience of someone probably flirting with me

brings me to my next very important point.

on the drive home from this encounter, i conceived of a project that i think will satisfy at least some of the aforementioned criteria, as well as my desires for creative and intellectual fulfillment. this project does, i believe, pertain to us all. it has universal appeal. it appeals, more specifically, to the nervously (or alternatively, confidently) excitable romantic living within each of us.

as you may know, i am somewhat recently "single."

perhaps relatedly, i have thought to myself here and there that something fun with which to occupy myself is a goal, one which i may have shared with some of you and also my mother. the goal is thus: learning how to be better at flirting. NOT IN A SHMOOZY WAY. more in the sense of, i wish to know how other people manage to be functionally social around people they find cute (eek i said cute!! yes i said it!). and interesting??? and just like, reeeeeally nice and cool???

like i said, I LOVE A GOOD PROJECT!

and frankly, my days here occasionally feel a bit unmoored, and i could use some intrigue (researcherly and otherwise). perplexity is also welcome.

i must be clear. i do not wish to be dating anyone. in fact, i have negative interest in doing so. i have no intentions of learning the art of flirting just so i can end up walking around holding hands with my new sweetie (vt term???). i will not be attending flirtation school with the aim of graduating with high honors. i wish simply to be a student of this strange, nebulous subject that is flirting. to observe the myriad curious, awkward, charming, potentially distressing, and otherwise offbeat ways in which people flirt with each other. and to report on all i may learn and that which i remain puzzled by.

so thus it is.  a research project.

conducted in the artistic medium of flirtation.

this project will take some yet to be determined form, but it will likely involve: desired outcomes, notes from the field, a call for public comment, an anonymous poll, and some practical do's and don't's. axioms and postulates of flirting may be established, and various theorems may also be derived.

research questions thus far include...

1. what IS flirting?
2. how do people flirt with each other?
3. is this person flirting with me, or am i just nervous?
4. am i flirting with this person, or am i just nervous?
5. and so on.

thus concludes: an introduction to a project which i hope will prevent me from perishing of social isolation in these rural hinterlands of northern vermont. and which i aspire for my findings to be of entertainment and use to the visitors of this humble blog. thank you for your readership. expect several reports. AND WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!